Pet Peeves

It has just come to my attention that in Seattle we are expected to have licenses for our pets.  I found a postcard to that effect in my mailbox today.

My single greatest regret, at least for the past 72 hours, is that I don't own such a pet that I could continue to own in an unlicensed fashion.  In fact, by continuing to not own a pet, I am tacitly obeying this ridiculous law.  This is unacceptable.  I feel like I need to buy a cat or something, just so I can break the rules.

I probably won't though.  Too much work, and cat hair, and I'm beginning to suspect I'm allergic.  What I would like, actually, is to buy stock in a cat.  For example, I would be maybe a 25% owner in an American Shorthair or something more elegant like a fine Chartreux.  Obviously there would be some kind of entity set up for the management of the cat--making sure she has a warm home and some cat friends and some humans to ignore and all the fucking catnip she can trip on and, of course, making sure she stays unregistered.  In fact, at the annual catholders meeting, I would probably vote to changing her name from "Sprinkles" to "Unregistered Cat #0."  Naturally, such an establishment would take like a 7% earnings from the cat for her care.

That's really what I want here--some kind of cat stock, so that I can break the law without having to go to the trouble of actually taking care of a pet.

Fuck you Seattle.