So with this stupid ass app....of the 11 beta testers we have, 1 has used it a little bit, 2 used it once or twice 6 months ago and haven't touched it since, and 1 basically didn't even use it at all. I haven't checked the others yet. Allegedly there are 3 willing to pay for it. We will see.
Despite what you probably think I am actually psyched about the beta testers that aren't using it, because that means we can shut down their account instead of migrating them off cloudmine. The ideal case would actually for all of the beta testers to have found it useless. Then I wouldn't have to migrate anyway.
The Cloudmine assholes told me they no longer have their free tier. I am 90% certain they are lying, and it would take about 10 minutes to check, however that would only make me more angry. So I basically have to make an extra payment to protect my beta tester's worthless data an extra month while I migrate some of them off of cloudmine...who I will never be using again, for anything.
Honestly, we should have never even tried to do this cloud storage shit. We would have been done in about 2 months.
The good news is, I think I'll have this shit wrapped up by end of summer.
[update]
Current guesstimate is we will end up with 4 people left.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
[coding] OMG Google WTF Threads
Soooooooooo AsyncTasks. The "official" way to do background shit. Well.
On some versions of Android, including whatever a Galaxy S 3 Tab runs, the async tasks share a thread pool with a core size of 1. In simple terms, that means if you expect more than one async task to run at a time, you are fucked. According to some documentation I found, it is possible that Google thought they were doing us a favor. Holy Fucking Bullshit is called AsyncTask. Why did you name it Async if some versions can only run one at a time?
Apparently AsyncTasks are only useful for short running tasks (assuming you are ok with them running synchronously). This is just like the fucking ListView all over again.
On some versions of Android, including whatever a Galaxy S 3 Tab runs, the async tasks share a thread pool with a core size of 1. In simple terms, that means if you expect more than one async task to run at a time, you are fucked. According to some documentation I found, it is possible that Google thought they were doing us a favor. Holy Fucking Bullshit is called AsyncTask. Why did you name it Async if some versions can only run one at a time?
Apparently AsyncTasks are only useful for short running tasks (assuming you are ok with them running synchronously). This is just like the fucking ListView all over again.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Idea: Lego Weed Smugglers Sets
Obviously I am loving not having to be at work every day. I'm going to have to get another job or whatever, but if I didn't, this is what I would work on: an entire line of Lego sets on a new theme: weed smuggling. It would be like pirates, but modern, and based on weed.
Here are some set ideas:
Here are some set ideas:
- weed smuggling trunk with replaceable panels (one could be the shell or octon labels)
- $10 car set - weed smugglers car with secret compartment
- weed submarine
- a grow house
- smugglers secret base with lots of cool shit including underwater escape route
- protest set, with protesters wearing weed shirts and getting tear gassed by cops dressed like stormtroopers
- medicine factory with a conveyor belt system inside that turns weed into cannabis-based epilepsy medication
- $150 set - cartel mansion
- $10 set - girl in hospital bed with epilepsy who needs cancer meds
- airport security scanner linked to a separate room where TSA employees jerk off to images of naked passengers
- house full of innocent people that gets raided by the DEA by accident because they got the address wrong (should be connectable to the grow house)
- DEA jail cell, including a prisoner who dies because they are denied being given medication that was prescribed by a doctor (this happened) and another prisoner who had a stroke during a car accident and was subsequently arrested after being unable to follow cops instructions, and dies while crawling along the floor of his jail cell
- $10 set - toddler that gets flash banged by cops
- a DEA hospital where texas border patrol offices rape 50 year old women who are near the border (they can be named after the cops who did this in real life)
- traffic stop set, two cop cars, one k9 dog. Includes a black man watching his car get dismantled on the side of the road, and a white man watching police rifle through his WRX without it being dismantled.
Obviously I would love to just do a kickstarter for this and sit around playing with legos all day.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
The Roomate Option
From about 2006, or 7ish until now, I have never had a roomate, and from about 2009 onwards I have never, ever had an apartment that lacked a washer/dryer. However, I've come across an option that will give me roughly the same standard of living at less than half the price. Technically it is 44% of the price.
I am roughly breaking even now. With the roommate thing, and also wrapping up the skin care thing and not paying so much money every month...I am basically going to be drowning in money. Having quieter sex and dealing with a laundromat seem like small prices to pay for that kind of advantage.
I am roughly breaking even now. With the roommate thing, and also wrapping up the skin care thing and not paying so much money every month...I am basically going to be drowning in money. Having quieter sex and dealing with a laundromat seem like small prices to pay for that kind of advantage.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
[howto] How to Clean Bathroom Sink
Normally I only clean my apartment once a year, however my bathroom seems to be developing a mold problem for reasons I can't possibly fathom. Because of the amount of time that elapses between cleanings I pretty much always forget how to do it and have to figure it out again each time. Until now. Because I'm writing down how to do it:
Bathroom Sink - 5 minutes
Bathroom Sink - 5 minutes
- move: hand towel, soap, toothbrush
- 409 + old sock
- top surface
- refold
- bowl
- wet paper towel (to clean up clumps of dirt that sock missed)
- another paper towel:
- wipe bottom of soap container
- clean tootpaste scum from toothbrush
- please remember that this took less than 5 minutes, so maybe we could do the sink more frequently
- REWARD: buy a cake to reward self for all of that hard work
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Lego NYC
I've technically had an app in the store for a few years now. Google will probably remove it eventually because I've ignored all of the emails they sent demanding that I give it a content rating and fill in some more summaries.
Its a lego scale calculator that tells you how big of a model you need for any real world object, and I just had the idea to do manhattan in lego. So I downloaded it. Turns out its still in the store, and the ads are still working, which makes me think there should be some $$ for me somewhere.
Anyway.
Manhattan is 13.4 miles long. Replicating it at minifig scale would require a model 4.2 football fields long (or 0.2 miles). Hmm....actually I think my app has the size of football fields wrong. Lets just say 1547 feet. The model would need to be 1547 feet. So a two bedroom apartment would not, in fact, be large enough to house the model. Also, I believe the volume of lego bricks necessary would exceed the sum all of the legos ever produced by the lego company.
Obviously I could reduce the scale drastically, but I have no interest in those types of models.
[Edit]
p.s. apparently I have earned $1.64 with my app, however admob thinks it owes me $0. So that's sad.
p.s.s. apparently I need to earn $10 to even select a payout method. Maybe I should make an app that people actually use.
Its a lego scale calculator that tells you how big of a model you need for any real world object, and I just had the idea to do manhattan in lego. So I downloaded it. Turns out its still in the store, and the ads are still working, which makes me think there should be some $$ for me somewhere.
Anyway.
Manhattan is 13.4 miles long. Replicating it at minifig scale would require a model 4.2 football fields long (or 0.2 miles). Hmm....actually I think my app has the size of football fields wrong. Lets just say 1547 feet. The model would need to be 1547 feet. So a two bedroom apartment would not, in fact, be large enough to house the model. Also, I believe the volume of lego bricks necessary would exceed the sum all of the legos ever produced by the lego company.
Obviously I could reduce the scale drastically, but I have no interest in those types of models.
[Edit]
p.s. apparently I have earned $1.64 with my app, however admob thinks it owes me $0. So that's sad.
p.s.s. apparently I need to earn $10 to even select a payout method. Maybe I should make an app that people actually use.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Trending Now
Based on my own whims and some web searches, the following may be the new trends to do shit with:
Apps would have been on there but they seem to be played out. So...not sure what to do next.
- cloud
- big data
- robots
- minecraft
- 3d printing
- drones
- Internet of Things
- A.I.
- (games -- not really a big thing but something I still want to do)
Apps would have been on there but they seem to be played out. So...not sure what to do next.
Friday, July 10, 2015
found this while cleaning out my desk
earl grey tea bags in gin (one tea bag per cup)
1 shot of ...(and then an arrow pointing to the previous line)
1 shot of st germain
1 shot lime juice
a little ginger beer
1 shot of ...(and then an arrow pointing to the previous line)
1 shot of st germain
1 shot lime juice
a little ginger beer
Friday, July 3, 2015
[fiction] Damaged Goods: Part ????
Teaser
The alien snuggled up to Snow Monkey while she played with his exposed penis. They'd had sex about 12 times, but it was still at half mast and probably ready for another 12.
"Don't you have to go?" asked the sexy alien.
"I was supposed to report back a while ago, yeah," said Snow.
The alien slid her finger all the way up his shaft.
"I could probably stay longer though," he moaned.
The alien's face brightened. "We could ask my sister to join us!"
"Oh hell yes-"
"Becker to Snow," beeped Snow's comm badge.
"Oh shit," muttered Snow. He tapped his badge. "Snow Monkey here."
"You're three hours over due. Return to the ship immediately," said Captain Biff.
"Yeah...I will as soon as I locate the rest of the away team," said Snow, looking around the room as if they might be hiding behind the furniture.
"The rest of your team has already returned to the ship."
"Oh! So that's where they were! I was looking everywhere-"
The sexy alien raised her eyebrow.
"Just get your ass back up here," said Biff.
Snow looked at the alien and started to say something, but the transporter beam was already dematerializing him. Apparently Captain Grumpypants was getting impatient.
Act One
Snow Monkey strolled into the conference room.
Captain Biff: "Where the hell were you? We beamed you off the planet ten minutes ago."
Snow Monkey shrugged. "I had to replicate some pants."
Biff rolled his eyes. "Lets move on."
Snow Monkey: "Very well. Lieutenant Boobs? Give your report."
Lt. Boobs: "My name is Nikka."
Snow Monkey: "Trust me. You're Lieutenant Boobs."
Lt. Boobs stood up and walked over to the screen that people are always staring at during these meetings. "This planet, while not residing in a sector of any particular navigational significance, has a rich cultural history dating back-"
Snow Monkey rolled his eyes. "OMG that's not even important. Here's what you guys need to know. There's not too many dudes, and all of the women on the planet are bisexual. And they are all interested in having sex with us--I mean, letting us have some shore leave here. Right team?"
The rest of the away team--Lt. Commander Jason Web and Lt. Commander Lawrence Lee--both nodded vigorously.
"They don't have warp travel yet," said Jason, "so the prime directive still applies."
"I'm going to prime her direct--" Snow looked around the table. "Sorry, still working on that joke."
"What kind of laws are we dealing with? Anything unusual culturally?" asked Captain Biff.
"You mean aside from their open sexuality?" asked Lt. Boobs.
"Meh just common sense stuff. No biggie," said Snow.
Act Two, Three, whatever.
Stuff happened.
Act Three
"Captain to the bridge!"
"What is it?" asked Biff.
Snow Monkey motioned to the view screen. "Ok so that snot nosed kid that nobody likes tripped and fell into a mini greenhouse, and now they want to execute him."
"That's right," said the male alien on the viewscreen.
"What?!? Execute him for what?" demanded Biff.
"He broke one of our shrubberies!" said the alien matter-of-factly.
Act Four
They were back in the conference room.
"Goddammit Snow you had one job," said Biff.
"In my defense...I was having a great time," said Snow.
Captain Biff: "You didn't think it was important to find out about the death penalty?"
Snow: "I feel like you should be yelling at Lieutenant Boobs as well."
Lt. Boobs: "Hey!"
Captain Biff turned to Lt. Commander Jason. "What's our status?"
"Well," said Jason, "there is a more-or-less omnipotent being hanging out in orbit. It seems to know nearly everything and be able to do anything but it spends all its time babysitting this one planet. Also every crime that is committed on the planet carries the death penalty. For like no reason."
"Except for not reciprocating oral sex." said Snow. "They seem to be ok w-"
"SHUT UP" screamed Lt. Boobs. "It's your fault we're in this mess."
Biff looked back at Lt. Commander Jason. "Continue."
Jason: "So this omnipotent being has trapped us in orbit around the planet and wont let us leave until we let the people on the planet murder that kid nobody likes."
Captain Biff: "Options."
"Well, I could try reversing the polarity," said Lt. Commander Lawrence.
"Will that work?" asked Lt. Boobs.
"It would probably destroy the ship."
"What else?"
"You're gonna have to give a speech," said Snow.
Jason nodded.
Captain Biff: "Are you sure?"
Snow: "Oh yes. A big speech on how absolute morality is bad. You should start sitting down, and then stand up and straighten your shirt, and then raise your voice at the end."
"I agree. Its our best chance of getting out of here," said Jason.
"We'll need to point the transmission in the general direction of the omnipotent being," said Lawrence.
Biff looked at Lt. Boobs. "What do you think?" he asked.
Lt. Boobs nodded reluctantly. "We can't fight our way out. You're going to have to give a speech."
Snow: "Would anyone else like to just fire all of our photon torpedos at the surface until the planet's crust burns and kills everyone?" Snow looked around. "No?"
"I'll go with the speech," said Biff.
More of Act Four
Biff finished delivering his self righteous speech regarding the superiority of "relative" morality over "absolute" morality, and the omnipotent being released its hold on the ship's orbital inclination and started to fade under the weight of Biff's, you know, incredible logic and shit.
"Ok, I know that you guys are kind of annoyed with me, and probably very relieved to put this behind us, but I just want to suggest, that, you know, before we leave orbit..."
"What?" asked the captain.
Snow: "...we could leave him there."
"Absolutely not!" said Biff.
Snow: "Just think about. Nobody likes him. I'm serious. Like there isn't a single person on the-"
Biff looked at Lt Commander Jason. "Break orbit and set course for-"
Suddenly there was a loud explosion and the ship lurched. A console exploded in a shower of sparks, killing a previously unmentioned crewman.
Cap'n Biff: "Report!"
"Direct hit on the starboard nacell. We've lost warp drive," reported Lt. Boobs.
"Shields up! What the hell hit us?" asked Biff. Just then the view screen was filled with the image of the dragon, which scored another direct hit just as the shields were coming online. Its fiery breath scorched a large part of the saucer section, including the bridge, causing numerous hull breaches. By the time emergency force fields were in place, only Snow and Lt. Boobs were left on the bridge.
"Return fire!" said Snow.
The dragon was already past them, and it flew over and ate the allegedly omnipotent being with a single bite. Lt. Boobs launched three torpedos, but they each missed their target. She finally scored a hit with the phasers and the dragon closed for another attack.
"Direct hit on its left wing," said Lt. Boobs.
Snow ran to the console and looked at the battle damage. "Sound evacuation and prep for emergency saucer separation," shouted Snow.
Lt. Boobs did so and followed him into the turbolift. "What separation sequence are you using?"
"Thirty seconds."
"Thirty? We won't make it in time!"
"That's true. Snow Monkey to transporter room three. Two to beam directly to the battle bridge."
"Aye sir," same the transporter room's response. A second later Snow and Lt. Boobs appeared in the smaller battle bridge. All around them large red panels blinked on and off, a constant reminder of the danger the ship was in.
"Snow to all transporter rooms. Start beaming as many as you can from the saucer to the engineering section," said Snow.
"They won't have enough to get everyone," said Nikka. "They won't even get half the people."
"Then they'll die," said Snow. "Where's the dragon?"
"Coming around for another pass."
"I'm blowing the separation early."
"No!!!!" Nikka lunched for his hand to stop him, but it was too late. Snow pressed the panel and a number of explosive bolts fired. The saucer and engineering sections separated unexpectedly, killing everyone who was descending into the engineering section at that moment. With the bulkheads unsealed, large portions of the decks on both ships were depressurized before emergency force fields activated, killing even more.
Snow pressed another panel and the engineering section veered off sharply, just before the dragon cut clean through the saucer section with its claws.
"I'm taking us into the atmosphere. Lock on with the aft torpedo-" Snow glanced behind him. Nikka was on the floor with some kind of thousand yard stare. He put the ship on evasive autopilot and leapt over the railing to tactical to do it himself.
The dragon followed them in hot and close, bathing what was left of the ship as its quarry fired torpedo after torpedo into its face.
"Shields are down to ten, no three percent," said Nikka. Another explosion rocked the ship. "Shields are gone."
"Signal abandon ship," said Snow. He ran to a nearby replicator. Nikka didn't hear what he ordered, but she watched a katana appear.
"What are you doing?" asked Nikka.
"Lets get to the shuttle bay," shouted Snow.
As they ran they passed crewmen cramming into the escape pods and launching. Snow had no idea if they would survive.
"Are they going to make it?" asked Nikka.
"Of course!" he replied.
The dragon swooped in and bit off most of the port nacelle, causing the ship to lurch.
Snow and Nikka fell in the corridor, scrambled and started running again. "Snow Monkey to shuttle 5, start ignition sequence."
They bust into the shuttle bay and made it into the shuttle just as the dragon's next attack destroyed the outer bulkhead. The shuttle bay started to depressurize. Snow blasted a way out with the shuttle's phasers and flew them right past the dragon's head. The dragon turned its head and tried to eat them but missed.
They pulled a steep descent, and the dragon followed. Above them they watched the ship lose structural integrity and break apart into thousands of small fragments, each one burning up in the atmosphere.
Then the shuttle lurched and did an unexpected barrel roll--a hit from the dragon. Snow steadied the craft and jumped out of his seat. "Take over!" he shouted.
Just as Nikka did so, Snow opened the outer hatch, grabbed his sword, and leapt out of the shuttle craft, and flew through the air directly at the dragon, sword poised for...
And then Snow woke up.
The alien snuggled up to Snow Monkey while she played with his exposed penis. They'd had sex about 12 times, but it was still at half mast and probably ready for another 12.
"Don't you have to go?" asked the sexy alien.
"I was supposed to report back a while ago, yeah," said Snow.
The alien slid her finger all the way up his shaft.
"I could probably stay longer though," he moaned.
The alien's face brightened. "We could ask my sister to join us!"
"Oh hell yes-"
"Becker to Snow," beeped Snow's comm badge.
"Oh shit," muttered Snow. He tapped his badge. "Snow Monkey here."
"You're three hours over due. Return to the ship immediately," said Captain Biff.
"Yeah...I will as soon as I locate the rest of the away team," said Snow, looking around the room as if they might be hiding behind the furniture.
"The rest of your team has already returned to the ship."
"Oh! So that's where they were! I was looking everywhere-"
The sexy alien raised her eyebrow.
"Just get your ass back up here," said Biff.
Snow looked at the alien and started to say something, but the transporter beam was already dematerializing him. Apparently Captain Grumpypants was getting impatient.
Act One
Snow Monkey strolled into the conference room.
Captain Biff: "Where the hell were you? We beamed you off the planet ten minutes ago."
Snow Monkey shrugged. "I had to replicate some pants."
Biff rolled his eyes. "Lets move on."
Snow Monkey: "Very well. Lieutenant Boobs? Give your report."
Lt. Boobs: "My name is Nikka."
Snow Monkey: "Trust me. You're Lieutenant Boobs."
Lt. Boobs stood up and walked over to the screen that people are always staring at during these meetings. "This planet, while not residing in a sector of any particular navigational significance, has a rich cultural history dating back-"
Snow Monkey rolled his eyes. "OMG that's not even important. Here's what you guys need to know. There's not too many dudes, and all of the women on the planet are bisexual. And they are all interested in having sex with us--I mean, letting us have some shore leave here. Right team?"
The rest of the away team--Lt. Commander Jason Web and Lt. Commander Lawrence Lee--both nodded vigorously.
"They don't have warp travel yet," said Jason, "so the prime directive still applies."
"I'm going to prime her direct--" Snow looked around the table. "Sorry, still working on that joke."
"What kind of laws are we dealing with? Anything unusual culturally?" asked Captain Biff.
"You mean aside from their open sexuality?" asked Lt. Boobs.
"Meh just common sense stuff. No biggie," said Snow.
Act Two, Three, whatever.
Stuff happened.
Act Three
"Captain to the bridge!"
"What is it?" asked Biff.
Snow Monkey motioned to the view screen. "Ok so that snot nosed kid that nobody likes tripped and fell into a mini greenhouse, and now they want to execute him."
"That's right," said the male alien on the viewscreen.
"What?!? Execute him for what?" demanded Biff.
"He broke one of our shrubberies!" said the alien matter-of-factly.
Act Four
They were back in the conference room.
"Goddammit Snow you had one job," said Biff.
"In my defense...I was having a great time," said Snow.
Captain Biff: "You didn't think it was important to find out about the death penalty?"
Snow: "I feel like you should be yelling at Lieutenant Boobs as well."
Lt. Boobs: "Hey!"
Captain Biff turned to Lt. Commander Jason. "What's our status?"
"Well," said Jason, "there is a more-or-less omnipotent being hanging out in orbit. It seems to know nearly everything and be able to do anything but it spends all its time babysitting this one planet. Also every crime that is committed on the planet carries the death penalty. For like no reason."
"Except for not reciprocating oral sex." said Snow. "They seem to be ok w-"
"SHUT UP" screamed Lt. Boobs. "It's your fault we're in this mess."
Biff looked back at Lt. Commander Jason. "Continue."
Jason: "So this omnipotent being has trapped us in orbit around the planet and wont let us leave until we let the people on the planet murder that kid nobody likes."
Captain Biff: "Options."
"Well, I could try reversing the polarity," said Lt. Commander Lawrence.
"Will that work?" asked Lt. Boobs.
"It would probably destroy the ship."
"What else?"
"You're gonna have to give a speech," said Snow.
Jason nodded.
Captain Biff: "Are you sure?"
Snow: "Oh yes. A big speech on how absolute morality is bad. You should start sitting down, and then stand up and straighten your shirt, and then raise your voice at the end."
"I agree. Its our best chance of getting out of here," said Jason.
"We'll need to point the transmission in the general direction of the omnipotent being," said Lawrence.
Biff looked at Lt. Boobs. "What do you think?" he asked.
Lt. Boobs nodded reluctantly. "We can't fight our way out. You're going to have to give a speech."
Snow: "Would anyone else like to just fire all of our photon torpedos at the surface until the planet's crust burns and kills everyone?" Snow looked around. "No?"
"I'll go with the speech," said Biff.
More of Act Four
Biff finished delivering his self righteous speech regarding the superiority of "relative" morality over "absolute" morality, and the omnipotent being released its hold on the ship's orbital inclination and started to fade under the weight of Biff's, you know, incredible logic and shit.
"Ok, I know that you guys are kind of annoyed with me, and probably very relieved to put this behind us, but I just want to suggest, that, you know, before we leave orbit..."
"What?" asked the captain.
Snow: "...we could leave him there."
"Absolutely not!" said Biff.
Snow: "Just think about. Nobody likes him. I'm serious. Like there isn't a single person on the-"
Biff looked at Lt Commander Jason. "Break orbit and set course for-"
Suddenly there was a loud explosion and the ship lurched. A console exploded in a shower of sparks, killing a previously unmentioned crewman.
Cap'n Biff: "Report!"
"Direct hit on the starboard nacell. We've lost warp drive," reported Lt. Boobs.
"Shields up! What the hell hit us?" asked Biff. Just then the view screen was filled with the image of the dragon, which scored another direct hit just as the shields were coming online. Its fiery breath scorched a large part of the saucer section, including the bridge, causing numerous hull breaches. By the time emergency force fields were in place, only Snow and Lt. Boobs were left on the bridge.
"Return fire!" said Snow.
The dragon was already past them, and it flew over and ate the allegedly omnipotent being with a single bite. Lt. Boobs launched three torpedos, but they each missed their target. She finally scored a hit with the phasers and the dragon closed for another attack.
"Direct hit on its left wing," said Lt. Boobs.
Snow ran to the console and looked at the battle damage. "Sound evacuation and prep for emergency saucer separation," shouted Snow.
Lt. Boobs did so and followed him into the turbolift. "What separation sequence are you using?"
"Thirty seconds."
"Thirty? We won't make it in time!"
"That's true. Snow Monkey to transporter room three. Two to beam directly to the battle bridge."
"Aye sir," same the transporter room's response. A second later Snow and Lt. Boobs appeared in the smaller battle bridge. All around them large red panels blinked on and off, a constant reminder of the danger the ship was in.
"Snow to all transporter rooms. Start beaming as many as you can from the saucer to the engineering section," said Snow.
"They won't have enough to get everyone," said Nikka. "They won't even get half the people."
"Then they'll die," said Snow. "Where's the dragon?"
"Coming around for another pass."
"I'm blowing the separation early."
"No!!!!" Nikka lunched for his hand to stop him, but it was too late. Snow pressed the panel and a number of explosive bolts fired. The saucer and engineering sections separated unexpectedly, killing everyone who was descending into the engineering section at that moment. With the bulkheads unsealed, large portions of the decks on both ships were depressurized before emergency force fields activated, killing even more.
Snow pressed another panel and the engineering section veered off sharply, just before the dragon cut clean through the saucer section with its claws.
"I'm taking us into the atmosphere. Lock on with the aft torpedo-" Snow glanced behind him. Nikka was on the floor with some kind of thousand yard stare. He put the ship on evasive autopilot and leapt over the railing to tactical to do it himself.
The dragon followed them in hot and close, bathing what was left of the ship as its quarry fired torpedo after torpedo into its face.
"Shields are down to ten, no three percent," said Nikka. Another explosion rocked the ship. "Shields are gone."
"Signal abandon ship," said Snow. He ran to a nearby replicator. Nikka didn't hear what he ordered, but she watched a katana appear.
"What are you doing?" asked Nikka.
"Lets get to the shuttle bay," shouted Snow.
As they ran they passed crewmen cramming into the escape pods and launching. Snow had no idea if they would survive.
"Are they going to make it?" asked Nikka.
"Of course!" he replied.
The dragon swooped in and bit off most of the port nacelle, causing the ship to lurch.
Snow and Nikka fell in the corridor, scrambled and started running again. "Snow Monkey to shuttle 5, start ignition sequence."
They bust into the shuttle bay and made it into the shuttle just as the dragon's next attack destroyed the outer bulkhead. The shuttle bay started to depressurize. Snow blasted a way out with the shuttle's phasers and flew them right past the dragon's head. The dragon turned its head and tried to eat them but missed.
They pulled a steep descent, and the dragon followed. Above them they watched the ship lose structural integrity and break apart into thousands of small fragments, each one burning up in the atmosphere.
Then the shuttle lurched and did an unexpected barrel roll--a hit from the dragon. Snow steadied the craft and jumped out of his seat. "Take over!" he shouted.
Just as Nikka did so, Snow opened the outer hatch, grabbed his sword, and leapt out of the shuttle craft, and flew through the air directly at the dragon, sword poised for...
And then Snow woke up.
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