The Hard Way: Coding without a Handicap

The Good News:

My business partner has been pleasant to deal with ever since we signed the operating agreement.  Even better, her competence has grown steadily with each new thing she tackles, and so far she's managed to take care of everything that doesnt involve actually building the product.  When we have business meetings I no longer feel like I'm talking to an idiot;  I feel like I'm talking to a partner.

The Bad News:

Unfortunately, we've hit yet another snag.  The one beta tester we had lined up backed out shortly before we gave her a test version.  I thought this beta tester had an independent practice with her own clients, but apparently she actually works in multiple spas and doesn't feel right putting those customers in our system...which is obviously how she should feel, since those aren't her customers.  I'm a little alarmed she was even going to consider doing that.

It was after this event that my business partner mentioned there might not be many estheticians who are independent.  In fact...its possible that they all work in spas.  This is a rather large revelation, since our current feature set is only complete for an independent, single-user situation.  Multiple users is the next milestone.

I'm starting to think that maybe the reason new business often fail is simple the fact that people chronically underestimate how difficult it will be.


The Very Bad News:

Panera Bread no longer sells the Cuban Sandwich.  I am lost and alone now, without hope.  The scariest thing, actually, isnt that I couldn't get the Cuban today, and won't be able to tomorrow...its the fact that I may never get a Panera Cuban Sandwich again.  The last time I ate one I just scarfed it down--I didn't stop and relish how delicious it was.  I just ate it, having no idea that it would be my last one.  I don't even remember when that was!  Thats the worst thing about this whole situation.



The Plan:

It seems the difficulty of this enterprise is only increasing.  I want to put off quitting my job, especially considering the fact that we no longer have a beta tester lined up (there is another potential, but nothing solid yet).  However, trying to work two jobs again has drained all of the enthusiasm generated over Christmas break.  My brain feels like its in a constant fog, and I have trouble concentrating and staying motivated, especially since being back on the 9-5 schedule means I'm using weekends to work instead of taking a rest.  The TV shows and video games I was using to recharge my brain have lost their effectiveness, possibly because to be effective I constantly have to expose myself to new content.  Taking walks does still work, fortunately, but I only seem to realize that "going for a walk" is effective after I've done it.  When I'm pacing around my apartment unable to think straight, the idea of spending an hour "going for a walk" just feels like a waste of time.

What does all this mean?  I think I am going to wait until the Android project at work is stopped/canceled again, which should happen early feb.  Then I will give notice for leaving.  I don't know why, but quitting while working on those other projects that I fucking hate makes me feel no guilt for quitting.  Perhaps it is because I only feel guilty because I never gave my manager strong enough hints that "lack of android work" = "me leaving."  I was partly unable to do so, because I knew there was nothing he could do about the lack of android work, or the more important fact that this thing is never going to be publicly released--an expected notch in my resume that led to me moving to the Android project in the first place.  Anyway, what was I supposed to do, give him some kind of ultimatum?  I don't think that is an acceptable move in this particular situation.  Hmm...I should probably at least tell him that I'm willing to put the SDK in my programs, and to work part time and remotely.  I doubt that matters.

So.  Looks like I won't be quitting the job until February, which means I won't be back on the East Coast by Feb.  Kind of like how I wasn't back on the East Coast by Christmas, or November, or my 30th Birthday, or October, or August before that.  If I quit in Feb, I promised my business partner at least 2 months of me, in Seattle, working on the start up full time, before moving home and possibly taking a job.  So I guess end of march/early april is the next date.

My business partner has become more knowledgeable regarding getting funding, though.  Six months ago she was just quoting random shit that self-styled venture capitalist gurus were spouting on some blogs.  Now?  She's coming to me with specific organizations that do angel and venture funding for startups whose criteria match what we are doing.  If that happens, I could take a salary and do this full time indefinitely, and not worry about getting another job.  Then again, getting venture capital will probably mean switching from LLC to C Corp and rewriting the Operating Agreement, since that was written assuming we would never get funding of this nature.  Re-negotiating the OA has the potential to be extremely unpleasant.

So...if all goes well, we are going to get some beta testers (i.e. customers using it for free), then I want to give a couple friends an opportunity to invest first, and then we go after big money.

I am quite apprehensive about this whole thing.  In fact, I am downright scared to be leaving such a comfy position that pays me such ridiculously high amounts of money (at least, compared to other professions) and I am not sure that I should be spending my savings to essentially not have a job for two months while I fuck around with an Android app.  However, I think I need to go for it.  If I can learn how to pilot a fucking an aluminum can with wings six thousand feet above the very hard ground, I can sell some fucking software to a spa.


So that's whats been rattling around in my head the past week.