ROI

Its been 8 days since our breakup, and I still miss her.  This is a problem.  What I'd like do to, is come up with a way to measure how much I miss being with a certain person, and then record that over time, and then do something like go to a strip club, and see if that has any measurable impact over how much I miss her.  Or trying a new experience, such as sailing, and seeing what effect that has.  My hypothesis is that this idea is a complete waste of time.  I'll try it at my next breakup.


1. Body
-priority zero:  stop having skinny body type (switch from ectomorph to mesomorph)
-arms top priority
-chest mid priority
-something called a V?
-abs low priority

2.  Clothing (depends on 1)
-start wearing clothes again that I got too fat for
-wear dress shirts that never looked good before because I was too skinny
-invest in good clothes

3.  Profile pictures (depends on 1 and 2)
Based on a random analysis (i.e. reading reddit) on what girls are attracted to, I need the following profile pictures on facebook and all of the dating sites I use:

• pic showing me awesome at doing something with my hands
• me driving a stick shift
• me gooey-eyed and cuddling with an animal (child would be good, but bad impression on dating sites)
• me playing guitar (one that is faked to make it look like I didn't arrange to have it taken, even though I will have)
• trip pics of me in faraway, mostly european, and very photogenic places
• pics raising arms up so shirt exposes skin just above belt.  Idk why they think this is attractive.
• me in a suit (probably just rent it) - claim its mad men night
• forearms in foreground
• maybe a pic of me helping out in a disaster, being all sweet on some kid whose ethnicity clearly demonstrates they are not mine
• me on a sportbike (this one is my own idea)

4. ???

5.  I was told there would be girls.


Unfortunately, I can't even get past step 1.  After cutting soda completely from my diet, and going to the gym almost daily, the rate of my weight loss is about about 1 pound per week.  I'm trying to increase that rate, but doing so with time constraints (i.e. dont have time to walk for miles every day) means pushing my lower and upper body to the cusp of injury.  It is very frustrating to me that there are things I can do with girls for [time span no one believes] but thirty minutes of running or tens of pushups is all it takes to start tearing ligaments.  You know how many calories you burn running for only half an hour?  Way less than the 3500.  I mean I'd be happy if I could just get to 1200 calories in one sitting--a pound every three days would be an acceptable rate of change.  Still not great--would probably take two months to get abs--but it would be acceptable.

My brief interactions with personal trainers suggest that they think we need them for motivation.  But I need no such motivation.  It took nothing more than declaring that a fit body would have a positive effect on my chances of sex in the future for my brain to do the equivalent of rolling the throttle all the way on until the engine breaks.  As far as I'm concerned, all I need from a PT is to tell me where the red line is.  On that note, swimming might work, but my current, overpriced gym, for all its convenience, does not have a pool.

So.

Its clear to me, that hard work is not the only element in getting more fit.  It also takes time.  Apparently muscles grow faster than tendons and ligaments, so the second element that is required is time.  In fact, according to one source I've read, it takes two years of heavy lifting for the body to start producing muscle growth hormones at seriously elevated rates.  Two fucking years.  I was supposed to be done with this running/lifting phase by...yesterday, really.  Anyway.

I need to modify my plan so that looking fit is not a prerequisite for anything, despite my strong desire to be able to walk into a store and actually fit into a dress shirt.  Here are some alternative activities for meeting girls:

1. Salsa, again
2. Yoga
3. Zumba
4. I stopped putting effort into this post two paragraphs ago.
5. etc.

These have another problem:  ROI.  I don't have much time now, even though I quit the band and am single.  Anything I just mentioned requires me to decided an entire night every week.  For what?  Possibly hooking up with one girl in the class?  I'm not entirely sure its worth that much time.

So....I don't really have a conclusion.  Or a plan.