How it Works

How to tell if a girl wants to be your friend:

She seems interested in talking to you.

How to tell if a girl is totally in to you:

See seems interested in talking to you.


Yeah, there is no easy solution to this mess.  Also, I'm starting to become aware of this thing where, if a girl wants to dance with you, she doesn't ask you to dance with her or anything; she just kind of comes up and stands near you, hoping that you will ask her.  WTF?  Even at the heights of my shy passive aggressiveness I didn't do that.  Don't do that.  That makes me not want to dance with you, because I think "well I better not ask her; she's standing right there and hasn't asked me to dance so she must not be interested."  Side note: my friends told me about this girl who asked a guy out, and his excuse for saying no was that she was too forward.  He needs to be punched in the face.  Anyway.  So I ... think two girls did that to me tonight.  One was hot bar girl, who I've danced with before and probably noticed me looking at her a lot, but I didn't get a chance to ask her because someone else asked me to dance, or distracted me, and then some guy asked hot bar girl to dance before I could make a move.  So thats like usual.  The second girl who did it--it was obvious.  I was still attempting to make eye contact and she's like already nodding her head or something.  Then, she was all into dancing super close.  You'll find out shortly why I'm still unsure if thats supposed to mean something.  Then, after one dance, she told me her name before I could ask her.  Then she was like, all over me.  Or maybe half over me.  5.62...idk.  I tried to show my interest by uncrossing my arms--I don't know why everyone acts like standing around with your arms crossed means your all disenaged or uninterested or unhappy or something.  I love standing around with my arms crossed.  If there is like a pillar, or a wall, or a corner, and I can lean against, one shoe draped over the other, arms crossed...thats how I like to stand.  But I digress.

We talked all through some song I didn't want to dance too--probably a merengue--and I might have come on too strong.  Idk.  I'm guessing here.  You know half the time when I mention that I played the best instrument in the world in high school and then switched to the guitar, it sounds like I'm bragging.  Maybe.  So.  Another salsa song came on, and I asked her to dance, and I was under the impression we were both having a good time--a better time, in fact, than the first dance.  My...my battle plan was to ask if she wants to go dancing sometime and get her number.  So far thats worked on...everyone.  This time I was going to ask her out or something.  Anyway.  So the song ends, and she's just gone.  She disappeared with the speed of someone who didn't really want to dance with you anyway and was just humoring you because you asked and it was polite.  When my eyes caught up with her, she's dancing with some old dude.

I was getting tired, so I tried to make the rounds and say goodbye to the various friends I had come with, but it took nearly a kilosecond because I kept getting waylayed by girls wanting to dance.  With one of them, this awesome salsa song came on.  I love it, but after 3 or 4 years of high school Spanish I can't make out a single word.  It goes something like: la la la, la, la-la la la la, da something something....  It has uh...some salsa instruments.  Anyway, I start getting into it, and it is about to be an awesome dance, and then all of a sudden part of the girls bra unsnaps, and not the part that is supposed to.  Those things should come with warranties.  Fortunately, she was one of my friends, so it wasn't awkward, but she had to run to the bathroom to reattach it or whatever and by the time she came back I had lost the passion.

I guess I just have that effect on girls.