Shell Shock

I made an ass of myself in a coffee shop today. I asked for a vanilla chai tea. I don't really know what that is, but I understand it that it tastes like vanilla, which I like, and it may be tea. Then I stood around while they made it and got absorbed in the television and the girl making the drinks called out "nonfat chai tea!" as she set a fresh drink on the little table thing. I automatically moved to grab it, because I was the only person or ordered anything in the last five minutes, but then the words "nonfat" sunk in. As a skinny person, and someone who knows what olestra is, I've nursed a special hatred of all things "diet" and "nonfat." Partially justified, by the way; once I accidentally drank half some kind of werid weight loss drink with the word "fuze" on it and felt sick immediately. But I digress.

I froze for a second, wondering if the guy heard my order wrong. Impossible. He was all like "you said vanilla, right?" And I said yes. So what happened? I don't know. What I should have done, I realized later, is ask her if that was for me. What I actually did was just stand there waiting for her to make the next drink so I could see if it was mine. She wasn't even done with the next one, though, before she picked it up again and yelled "NON-FAT CHAI TEA LATTE FOR DAVE," pretending she didn't already know it was for me. Oops.

I left as quickly as I could, staring at my paper cup, wondering what gross manufactured chemicals swirled around inside my hot beverage, waiting to give me a fake sense of being full. The coffee shop was only about 100 meters from the building where I worked, but I already regretted the entire trip. I had only ventured out into the cold because I was getting quite chilly at my desk...some kind of air vent was constantly blowing cold air onto me. But I digress. I considered throwing out my drink and walking across the walkway to starbucks and trying again, but that would have been too weird even for me. Instead I just sipped the drink and went back to my desk to get some work done. I don't want to turn into a coffee snob. I don't even like coffee that much. I just like going places where you can get something hot to drink that has milk and vanilla syrup in it.

In other news, I am starting to get the hang of the bus system. That is, when I need to get on a specific bus, like one that stops at specific points on the surface at specific times along its route, I can usually get there. All you get to do is get there like ten minutes early, buy a crossaint from a nearby coffee shop that has flies on it but which you still eat most of because you are hungry and are about to go climbing, and then huddle in the little bus stop booth and stamp your feet until the warm bus rolls up. Then, you may or may not pay as you enter the bus, depending on where the bus is, where you're going, what time of day it is and whether or not the planets are aligned. They have little signs to tell you, though.

Oh, and speaking of climbing...they have 2 gyms up here. I don't know if I wrote about them yet, but one has top-roping with ATCs like I'm used to, and the other has top-roping with those stupid gregery pieces of crap that I hate. In fact, one of my personal goals right now is to go climbing there a whole night without complaining about the belay devices. So far it hasn't happened. It is sad irony that the gym with the stupid belay devices has a lot more top rope courses. I'm not sure what to do about that. I suppose I should look on the bright side: every time I go there I fall more in love with ATCs. When I'm belaying someone I fantasize about how it would feel it I was using an ATC instead. I wonder if my ATC gets lonely, stuffed in my gym bag in the locker room, without the harness and shoes to keep it company while I climb.

Last night I got a full nights sleep by accident, and discovered why I've been falling asleep at my desk at work so much.

I'm feeling generally disoriented again. I'm out of the corporate housing apartment and into my own, which is a mirror image of the corporate housing one, but it has all of my stuff instead of the corporate housing stuff. Just when the corporate housing apartment was starting to feel like home. After that king bed, I feel like I'm camping out here...like I should pitch a tent on top of my crappy futon and sleep in my sleeping bag. Such a weird feeling. And its difficult getting places...especially without a car (and with the weather too cold to ride) whenever I think about going somewhere, first I have to ask "where is it???" and then "how to I get there?" I'm losing interest in locations where the answer is "spend half of your day on busses."

Also, I don't think I wrote about this yet: I spent $125 on towels. Towels. I did write about this...whatever. Since then, I've started looking at price tags on things in stores before I buy them. I understand this is a custom that most normal people practice when shopping. I can see the benefits...today I bought a smaller trash can than the one I was looking at, because no trash can should ever cost $25 (and if it does, the thing better be able to walk up and grab the trash out of your hand) . As a result, I only spent $50 at bed bath and beyond. Which, by the way, does not sell paper towels. I don't know why. Paper towels could go in both the kitchen and the bathroom, and I have some ideas that would make them handy in the bedroom, too. But whatever. I stole the roll from the corporate housing department. I also took the dishwasher soap. Part of my dishwasher is broken. I asked them to fix it, so someone who works for the apartment complex came into my apartment, put a bunch of my dishes in the dishwasher, and ran it, and then wrote "fixed" on the little work sheet. The guys probably thinks I'm a total moron now. The dishwasher technically works without the piece thats missing. I think I'm going to order the part I need off the internet and fix it myself. I'm all about being assertive and stuff, but I can see this turning into a big passive-aggressive battle fought through notes and work slips. Seriously, what a jackass. They probably have the exact same dishwasher in every other apartment. I don't know how they didn't notice there was a giant piece of plastic missing. Whatever.