Handoff: I KNEW it

A Heretic may see the truth and seek redemption. He may be forgiven his past and will be absolved in death. A Traitor can never be forgiven.
--some fictional character

Yeah, so, I was right.  I don't know what those two girls said to each other, but they totally attempted...something.  I can only describe it as a "handoff," a word from work, actually, because I don't know what else to call it.  I didn't know girls did this.  It all makes sense now...the texting, getting me to take her dancing, and the weirdness.  Ugh.  Anyway, so the girl that I don't like that I've been handed off to said something about FWB.  So now, we're going to go into another tangential rant.  If you like, found this blog because you were googling for something you actually wanted to read, and you are reading this thinking "wow, this doucebag is pretty full of himself and not even a good writer and his life is not that interesting" then you are right.  I know that's what you are thinking because thats what I think whenever I find a random male-authored blog, so fuck off and have a nice day.



In my opinion, friendships with benefits (FWB) satisfy guys the same way that retarded, platonic relationships satisfy girls.  You know, the kind with unrequitted feelings.  I know that a lot of people disagree with me, but pretty much every personal experience I've ever had* confirms this.  Except one.  I think.  Anyway.  This is one reason I avoid, at all costs, becoming close friends with girls I want that have rejected me for some stated reason other than finding me unattractive:  if they are already getting what they want, they'll have no reason to change the status quo.

My theory about why FWB is awesome is that you get the companionship, someone hot to talk to and hang out with and make out with (yay!), without leaving yourself vulnerable to her proverbial ice pick of crazy:  you never leave your back open.  Basically, you are able to breathe without the risk of having your world collapse around you because the person you love has tossed you out, or decided you don't like her dog enough, or because your love has been poisoned by selfishness or some other human imperfection.



So anyway, that is why, in some vague way, I feel like a traitor for turning this girl down.  Never in my life have any of them just come up and asked for it, and now, here I am passing it up.  Oh well;  I'm not into her.  What am I supposed to do?

I'm starting to become concerned that most of the girls I talk to are way out of my league.  That means I am going to have fail a hell of a lot in order to succeed.  Yuck.  Ironically, though, this isn't all that different from how we design software these days:  planning for failure.  Everything you do, you have to assume that a component you rely on, or, to phrase it in a way that better fits this analogy, something you attempt, will fail, and then you...well then the analogy falls apart.

Some other girl here, that I actually liked more than anyone mentioned so far, just told me she's "taking a break from dating" because her life is crazy or something.  That sounds like bullshit.  I wanted to tell her that my ego is not fragile, in order to discover the truth, but instead I just texted "no problem" because I figured that response gave me the best chances of hooking up with her in the future.

*this...might not be true, but I really like saying it