Wednesday, May 27, 2015

The News

The War on Sugar suffered a serious setback this past Saturday, when I visited my parents and inhaled an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids, as well as half a box of those straw stabbing Capri Sun sugar drinks.  Every day, I crave sugar.

In Salsa Class, we have a different instructor on Sunday who made us social dance for a few minutes, and I learned that basically none of the girls in my class can actually dance; they just mimic whatever the teacher does.  This explains a lot.

I still have hardly any real friends here; mostly passing acquaintances.  Still, though, somehow I am double or triple booked every night this weekend.  Sadly, my most exciting hookup opportunity for that time has already evaporated.

The side project with the app is going well.  My business partner found an issue with my first release candidate.  I fixed it and sent her another one.  Waiting to hear how the testing goes.

At the day job, I have been blocked for several days waiting for a code review for the second time in as many weeks.  So...thats great.

Sunday, May 17, 2015


Yeah so the past couple posts have been complete lies.  I don't have a beard, or a knitting habit, or an ex-love-interest named Nachenka, although I did have a cool ending worked out inspired by the music video for √Član.  What actually happened is that I suspected that my volleyball team found this blog.  The lies were a last ditch attempt to throw those fuckers off the trail, but that doesn't really matter now:  we're not playing together in the summer, and since as of this season I am currently the worst player on the team, come fall there is a 50/50 chance I will see my entire former team on the other side of the net.  Its just how we roll.  So it doesn't really matter anymore what they think of me, or if they find out, for example, that I spent an afternoon wandering around Mt Rainier looking for a place to fuck in knee-deep snow.

The real takeaway is that I really, really need to stop telling people about this fucking blog.  The official story now is that I had a blog, but I got bored and can't remember what it was called.


Onto the good shit:  the fucking app is done.  Tonight I have just finished implementing all of the  features on my "paid customer" checklist and sent the release off to my business partner to run a test pass.  This is the fork in the road, people.  If my business partner cannot get a single person to pay for it, then I've just wasted thousands of dollars and years of my life.  Which is fine, cause I'll be free.  On the other hand, if just one person is willing to pay for it...well, that's a game changer.  Because all we have to do then is get a second person to pay for it.  Or approach investors and get some cash to hire employees.  Or just sell my fucking half and walk away happy.  Who knows?

I do know I have like a hundred ideas for projects I want to work on.  I should also probably try to make some friends in this place.  I don't know if its possible to make real friends--the kind with whom you can let your guard down--but I'd like to try.

Friday, May 15, 2015

The Search

Nachenka is missing.

Cherrie texted me while I was at my knitting club.  We started looking.  Haven't turned up anything yet.  Cherrie is exhausted and has to get up in three hours to go to work, so I let her have my bed while I work on knitting my Game of Thrones blanket knitting in my office.  Normally I am really excited about this piece; it is going to have all of my favorite characters on it.  Unfortunately, its really hard to concentrate on it right now.  Maybe I'll just try to get some sleep.  I traded shifts with someone at work so I could go search again tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Mountain Man

The itchy period has finally subsided.  I now have a beard!  It needs some time to really fill out, but I would say that operation Mountain Man is roughly...90% complete.  It seems that the itchy period lasted longer for me than it should have;  I haven't needed this much self control since becoming a vegetarian.

In other news, Nachenka showed up at my flat today, drunk out of her mind.  I don't think she's actually pregnant.  I had a local IPA called Palace (the reason you haven't heard of it is because its a microbrew from Brooklyn) so I drank with her a little bit.  Watching someone that you've previously adored fall to pieces like that is surreal.

The conversation dwindled and it seemed like there was something she wanted to say.  Then she left.  I felt weird, so I've spent the rest of the night watching basketball and Arrested Development.

Monday, May 11, 2015

The Torn Veil

Nachenka is pregnant.

I wouldn't--I shouldnt--have known it, except she came to my book release party tonight.  Just showed up around midnight.  When I heard she was in town, some part of my mind...perhaps the part that detests losing...immediately laid out several strategies for winning her back.  Like I'm gonna even try.  So even though she had a big party or whatever I didn't go.

But she came to me.  And I was shocked at how dead I felt toward her.  It wasn't the impending child--she's not showing--it was everything.  How she talked.  Her mannerisms.  Everything.  I'm just not impressed with her, at all.  I feel nothing.  And I don't know why.  When we were young I crawled through the mud on my hands and knees with her trying to lose her drunken father in a corn field and I didn't even mind because to me it was an adventure (and also cell phones back then could get wet and it wasnt a problem).  Now...I probably would not even bother going across town for coffee with her.  Ce la vie I guess.

The weird thing is what happened after she left.  One of the cocktail waitresses looked right at me and said "don't be so proud of yourself."  I was...shocked.  That is twice now that a someone has been able to read right through me.  Unless everyone has been playing a massive joke on me my entire life I am not, or at least was not, easy to read.  Friends make fun of me for being a robot.  Girls dump me for not having enough emotional shit.  Cops and boyfriends always think I want to be their friend even though I hate them.  Trying to like, surface an emotion feels like pulling my own teeth.  But these girls...I don't know what happened.  Maybe emotions just bubble up on their own sometimes, without any effort.  It's kind of scary though.  I feel as if some armor that I didn't know I had has suddenly developed flaws, or giant holes.  And a breeze is coming in, making me aware that I am vulnerable.


My brother is getting tired of the city.  I love it here but he wants to move to Seattle.  I've never been there but I heard it rains a lot.  I suppose I could do it.  We don't really have any ties here, and I am kind of looking for the next adventure.  I remember organizing LAN parties in high school, and getting lost with in various cities with no money and no way home.  Where is the adventure now?  Everything has become so safe, so comfortable.

A part of me is yearning for the kind of nip and tuck adventure where I seriously regret my decisions about halfway through.  The other half wants kids.

I think the best adventure of all would be to sail a thirty two gun frigate.  Obviously being one of the hands would not be terribly great, but as a lieutenant or captain it would be amazing.  I don't know how you would set that up in the modern world, or if any of those ships even exist.  I think there is a sailing ship you can join for a few months but I don't think its a frigate.  It is almost definitely  not square rigged.  And it definitely does not have cannons, or "great guns" as they said in the royal navy.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Achievement Unlocked: Photography Class

When it comes to art, I tend to prefer photos over most paintings, because the photos look nicer.  Unfortunately even with a photo that's a lot of art bullshit you can discuss, especially regarding light.

In the same way that pilots can bore you to death with the things that air, can do, photographers can bore you with light.   Hm...I wonder if you could do a fantasy story involving earth, air, fire, water, and light...anyway.

So I'm learning all about photography.  It is partly because I know I am both ignorant of and curious about this subject.  I mean, what are those professional photographers busy caring about that can't be done by pressing the camera button on my phone?

I would also like to know how to take good landscape pictures.  I never seem to be able to find the landscape pictures that I want, so I might as well take them myself.  I would also like to take pictures of girls.

But really...holding a real camera in my hand and thinking about what I would take a picture of takes me all the way back to my childhood and the incredibly awful and blurry pictures I took of my lego scenes.  Somehow, the incredibly tense and exciting scene I had constructed was always converted--by the camera--into a lifeless bunch of toys on an ugly carpet.  Knowing how to take the right pictures, though, might bring them back to life.  If only I had enough space to do it....

Today we learned all about light, and controlling the amount coming into the camera.  And get this.  Photographers are morons.  They deal with shutter speed in fractions of seconds and when it comes to the amount of light we actually deal with it in powers of 2 (i.e. you are usually interested in doubling or halving the amount of light coming in).  So the shutter speed might be 1/2 second, or 1/4 second.  In fact, if I were to right the denominator of what the shutter speeds should be, they would be:

1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024

And if any of my programmer friends still read this, they would recognize those as the powers of two.  Now look at what these asshole photographers do:

1, 2, 4, 8, 15, 30, 60, 125, 250, 500, 1000

What the hell?  Its not like you even type it in.  You just turn a dial and it goes to the next setting, and they still have to fuck the numbers up so they would look nice.  Get this though.  When it comes to some settings called ISO (it has something to do with light), we use numbers like these:

100, 200, 400, 800, 1600, 3200

Its the same progression, correctly following the powers of 2 this time, and no one cares.  It seems that people are more comfortable with powers of 2 so long as you throw some zeros behind them.


Saturday, May 2, 2015


I grew up believing that eggs could be successfully boiled in a microwave, and, according to legend, I have done so on no less than--and bear in mind this is an absolute minimum--one occasion.  Apparently, though you can't do it.  Or can you.......

Directions to boil a single egg (multiple eggs was out of scope for this milestone)

  • pre-heated water for 10 minutes; dont know if it boiled  (2.5 quart bowl, mostly filled)
  • forgot salt
  • cover with dish (note: water temp will be much lower if you dont cover it)
  • 8 minutes at power level 2
  • (water measured 188F)
  • 11 minutes in water
  • still above 170F
  • cooled egg down fast with cold water to prevent bacterial growth
  • egg was delicious

Further notes:

the cooling down fast is to prevent bacteria growth


"For eggs, the white will coagulate (set) between 144 and 149° F, the yolk between 149 and 158° F, and whole egg between 144 and 158° F."

Unfortunately, the internet says I need 270 grams of protein per day (in order to...well I don't know; I didn't read the article very carefully).  At 17g per egg, we're looking at 15.8 eggs every fucking day.  I could do it....