[coding] One language to fuck them all

The coders who are building the iOS bullshit for my startup are being all slow, so I've elected to start learning iOS and start doing some coding myself.  And I am horrified.

Previously, when I glanced at objective-C, I convinced myself that it was this cool, interesting language...the sort of Steam Punk of higher level languages, showing how object oriented programming could have evolved if simpler, better languages hadn't been invented.  Its star idea?  Its ok to call methods ("send messages to") null objects.  That is fascinating.

Unfortunately, iOS fucking sucks.  It seems to excel at bringing the worst of all possible worlds together.  First of all, everything is defined in text files, except that you effectively need a GUI (xcode) to make anything work.  And of course since you are tied to exactly one graphical program in order to write code, all of the stupid fucking tutorials out there are written for exactly on particular version of xcode which has an interface that looks completely different.

Then, the syntax.  Objective-c is a superset of c.  The idea is, it gets the compatibility with c combined with a cool new syntax.  Bullshit.  Here's what really happened:  we still have all of the old c shit lying around, except now half and/or most of the code is in this completely unreadable syntax with lots of []'s all over the place, and whoever invented this appears to have a vendetta against functions with multiple params--holy shit.  I am getting a really strong sense of de ja vu.  I'm pretty sure I've bitched about this stuff before.  In fact I think this is the third time I've written to complain about objective-C.  Damn.  I need to hurry up and learn it already.  Anyway, I guess here is the rest of my whiny bullshit, which you have no undoubtedly seen before.  TLDR:  still hate Apple.

They've managed to take a language syntax known for being the most difficult for new programmers, and make it even more difficult.  You still have the old syntax though.  Sometimes its dots and parents, sometimes its brackets!  Yay......If I ever code iOS for a large corporation, I am going to continue coding my famous one liners, taking sadistic pleasure in the nightmare of parens, brackets, dots and spaces that I am subjecting the next reader to.

These problems seem to extend to every corner of the language...everything is 95% awesomely automated for you except for that one thing that will fuck you over.  Like the null thing--turns out that rule breaks down with structs.  It works all the time, for everything, unless there is a struct in there somewhere.  And arrays have to be nil terminated.  What.  The.  Fuck.  Its 2013 and you still can't provide me a collection that wipes its own ass?  Come on!

Based on the Stanford lectures, one of the cool features is supposed to be that you can "connect" UI elements to some code via a UI dragging operation.  Because typing it was too simple.

I wanted to like this language;  I really did.  But as of now I have only contempt for it, and the company whose popularity is forcing me to code for their dumbass platform.


[Edit]
Ok, this tutorial might not suck