This one is more for me

I want a phone that vibrates silently when I am called, and vibrates silently when I receive a text, but makes an actual sound when the alarm goes off in the morning. Raise your hand if you think thats difficult. Here, let me make a table for you:

Text ---- no sound ---- yes vibrate ----
Call ----- no sound ---- yes vibrate ----
Alarm -- SOUND ----- I dont care! ---


My phone can't do it. There are two options here, which, as a cartesian product, form four choices for each alert. Am I going out of my mind? Are four choices too difficult? Yes, because I cannot have an audible alarm if the ring is silent. Maybe I'm just an idiot. I carried a Nokia 3120 around for years without really knowing how to find the calculator. Seriously though, I don't think I am. I have examine anything in the phone that looks like its related to settings, and there really isn't a lot to go through.

So, I can choose between not waking up in the morning (sound off for calls and alarms) or being a dick in movie theatres/meetings (sound on for calls and alarms). Maybe I'll just use LJ's excuse: "I didn't think anyone would call me!" Twice. In the same lecture. And he continued leaving his phone on after I confronted him--me, of all people. I hated confrontation back then. The only thing that could make me speak up was when someone did something so rude it shocked me and I yelled at them before the shy part of my brain could freeze up my vocal chords. But I digress.

I am now seriously considering hacking my phone. Not because "information wants to be free." Not because I hate some large company. Not because I want to watch movies on it that the corporations don't approve. Not because I want to jailbreak my phone and switch carriers. I want to hack it so that I can receive phone calls and wake up in the morning. I have this belief that if everyone in some group of people had their cell phone in their front jeans pocket, and it vibrated for all incoming correspondence, that we wouldn't have this problem with cell phone rings interrupting presentations, class, meetings, etc. I have no memory of ever interrupting a meeting because my cell phone is always on vibrate (until now) because I like being the only person in the room who knows I just got a text message. I am alone here? Have I really found an edge case that accidentally got removed by the morons programming my cell phone? Seriously, are all of the good programmers out there at Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and Drexel University? Because I haven't found evidence of them anywhere else. The operating systems that control my phone, my GPS unit, my laptop and my personal computer all suck horribly. By "suck horribly" I mean that they should be used as examples of what not to do (people at work thought my Ubuntu power button situation is hilarious). The only meaningful computer in my life that doesnt suck is the one that tweaks the fuel intake in my car.

Thats not true. My PS3---wait, no, no that isn't that great either. Oh man even my wristwatch--oh forget it. I don't think that watch even has a full computer in it. I didn't mean to start ranting about idiots again. All I really wanted to do was post the workaround for myself:

copy a silent mp3 to the phone

It is possible to make my phone vibrate and ring for all types of alerts (calls, texts, alarms, etc). If I switch the call and text "ring tone" to a silent mp3, my phone will effectively gain the ability to do what five year old phones can do out of the box.

My phone is an LG Electronics CF360 on an overpriced AT&T plan. I don't recommend this combination.