Telephonic Antipatterns

I bought a 4 GB micro SD card because my text messages filled up my phone and SIM card memory. Guess what. My phone is incapable of saving text messages to the SD card. WTF? Did the people who designed my phone do this on purpose?!? Maybe they divided 1120 bits into 4 gigs and realized their 4th grade education had skipped reading big numbers*.

LG Electronics Model CF360: an example of how NOT to make a phone.

On a related note, please to not be suprised if you send me a text and I never get it. My inbox may be full. Or I have smashed my phone. I don't know what to do now. I just sold myself out to AT&T to get this piece of crap; I don't want to spend the money on another one, and I don't want to walk into an AT&T store with a funny list of questions like "can this phone have the alarm on while the ringer is off? Can I save text messages to the SD card? Does the menu take 3 days to appear after I hit the menu key?" My other option is to hack my phone, but I don't really want to entrust my personal life to a jailbreaked phone. Also I wouldn't know where to start--rewrite the whole operating system? I probably couldn't do any worse than the morons at AT&T/LG, but every hour I spend rectifying the blasphemous programming crimes done to my phone is an hour I'm not out meeting girls.

I suppose I'll just start deleting text messages. Its not like I really needed to know who "ribbon girl" was anyway. What horrible discovery will I make about my phone next?


*according to wikipedia and my calculator, a 4 GB card should hold roughly 30.6 million texts. The .6 makes it definitely worth it.