Laundry the Hard Way

I have lived in...9 apartments so far.  The last 6 have always had laundry in the motherfucking unit itself.  I don't go out and "do laundry."  No.  Fuck no.  At some point when I remember that I'm out of socks or whatever, I grab my laundry bin (located next to the shower where I can conveniently peel off the clothes I slept in), dump it into the washer, and let it run.  Obviously no sorting or pocket checking takes place, so its cold wash, cold rinse, and slightly-above-room-temperature drying...the computers at the NSA that illegally spy on everything we do probably think I wear nothing but lingerie.  This usually happens at 2 am.  At some other point in the future, I remember to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer and then walk away again.  When I need some clothes, I dump everything from the dryer into a basket, take the item I need, and leave the basket, still full, on the corner of my bed, where it will serve as a convenient all-in-one dresser drawer for the next week.  Assuming its not the day of the year that I empty the lint trap, a typical laundry run will cost about 4 minutes of my life, spaced out over a 48 hour period.

I have honed this system over the greater part of 10 years in order to arrive at something that requires the least amount of time, effort, planning, or even forethought on my part.  I thought its main weakness was the fact that when I'm planning to invite a girl over, I have to take the time to sort the laundry basket into different drawers to make room on the bed.

However it turns out the biggest problem with this system is that I have become too accustomed to effortless laundry, and have begun making poor life choices in an attempt to cling to my work-free laundering situation.

I chose an apartment in NYC that is at least 25% more expensive because I insisted on having a washer/dryer in the apartment.  Normally when an apartment says "washer/dryer" there is a washer AND a dryer, however in this building I just moved into, they felt that space was so scarce they needed an all in one unit.  This all in one unit appears to do be capable of washing, however the drying cycle does not give you the option to change the drying temperature, and the temperature they've chosen gives the laundry a strange and aromatic burning smell that lasts for days.  Its a weird smell...it smells more like burnt wood and less like burnt clothing.  Reviews of this washer-dryer on Amazon consist of a few outliers hovering over a solid bar of 1 reviews on the bottom.

I signed a year lease on this place.  So...I've really fucked up this time.  Few things in life are as frustrating as carrying your laundry out of  a ridiculously overpriced "luxury" apartment--during business hours!--to a laundromat, costing me two hours of my life every fucking time I do laundry on top of all of the money I'm pissing away on this apartment.  And, this time, I won't have my car nearby to drive across the city to the one 24-hour laundromat.

Again, though, lets be positive.  The wash cycle seems to work.  It may be possible to construct some kind of shape that, when a basket full of wet clothes is dropped on it, will cause the clothes to naturally fall into positions where they will eventually air dry.  That's one option.

Another option is to get 365 each of boxes/sock pairs/t-shirts.  That way, I'll just go to the laundromat once a year and use every machine at once.