I Bless the Rains Down in Aaaafricaaaaaa

The Ex

I have been really wanting to tell my ex these words:  "I miss you, and you were great."  ...because that is exactly how I feel right now.  However, upon consulting with friends, this would be perceived as a move and I'd have to ask myself a lot of complicated questions and I think I'm just going to hope that she is well and found someone who is almost is awesome as I am but more affectionate.


Lana Del Ray

Karaoke went well, well enough that I am willing to put up with the scheduling bullshit.  Next time, I am thinking salsa+karaoke in one night.  Another night, drinking and bowling.  Maybe.  I don't know.


Old Friends

Went to my high school reunion.  An attractive girl that I never hung out with in high school, I thought, made it a point to let me know she was single and three other things and I'm getting bored...well if we skip the boring part of the story I have her card and am pretty sure she'll never return my text--which is actually double sad because she hinted at a really interesting since-highschool life story that I was hoping to hear more of while also seeing more of her.  Unfortunately, as with the cute cafeteria girl at work, there was a strong internal debate between two possibilities:  "interested" and "just friendly."   This time I thought it was "interested" but it turned out to be "just friendly."  Damn those...friendly women and their friendliness.


Field Report

Today I aggressively attempted to perform "the zipper" while merging onto the highway, even though some asshat in a small green car sped up to block me.  I called his bluff but he didn't back off so I was forced onto the shoulder.  It was a sad day for the zipper.  I smiled at him from my new position of power on his 6, and he did something gay that looked like writing down my front plate.  I miss Pennsylvania.


The PenIs Mightier

While drinking with friends we decided that Chris and Kev will take all of the ridiculous things I write, including all of the posts I've started hiding since my last breakup, and publish them in some form that makes money.  Of course that same night I also started bitching about how much money 50 Shades made, and we decided that I was going to write a girl-on-girl version of it.  I started the second one on the plane back to Seattle.  Turns out, writing a story that is anything other than melodramatic bullshit betwixt my road ninja characters is actually quite difficult.  Even worse, writing the girl version of the book means I have to read the original.  I am not happy.  I'm not happy with the prose;  I'm not happy with the characters;  and I am not at all happy about the kind of social dynamics girls care about.  The author just keeps droning on about people being intimidated by this ass clown who maintains a hostile work environment at his company that does nothing.  Whatever.  I'm probably going to get tired of this in a week.  You know what?  I need a writing partner.  If you would like to help write a book that is basically 50 shades of grey except that the man character is a hot femme fatale instead of some dorky version of prince charming, and the book is different in every way that might otherwise allow the original author to sue us, then please drop me a line.  Especially if you can write the relationship parts.