Thanks to a certain jackass I disabled access to this blog to everyone but me. Then I realized that I had given the link to my "In Seattle, the Ducks Ride You" post to a paralegal that is drafting a deposition (fuck, even that makes me miss my ex-gf!) for use in a legal case against the duck fuckers.
In case this person needs to review the entry for factual accuracy, I am re-allowing access until the deposition is ready and signed.
After that, I don't know. I'd like to write some custom blog software that blocks access to people who both have Seattle IP addresses and don't know how to use proxies, but I don't know how I would handle mobile phones, and I am trying to concentrate on learning C# as I ramp up on projects at my new job at Bikrosoft.
Part of the reason that my now ex-girlfriend and I are splitting is that I am unable to provide an adequate amount of emotional affection. Affectation might be the best I can do. Maybe I am like The Doctor...maybe I should just search for some kind of female companion and forget about all this romantic nonsense.
At this point, it seems possible that our relationship could be saved, if I insisted on meeting with her and hashing everything out and promising to make real changes...tell her she is beautiful more frequently, etc. I can't figure out if it is the right choice or not. I want to live with no regrets, but I don't know if I will regret getting back together, or letting her slip through my fingers. Maybe I would regret either, and there is no easy answer.
I wish that I could edit my own brain and disable loneliness, love, longing...really all of the L emotions. Probably take out sadness while I'm at it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment