Paragon of Historical Accuracy

I'm sure we have all griped about the movies, at one time or another, for their dismissive attitude towards even the most basic observable laws of physics, and a portrayal of computers that is so innaccurate you'd think they were being dumb on purpose.  However, there is that rare movie, that rare exception to the rule that keeps us hoping that things will be better.

There was the realistic unix interface in the Matrix sequels (Maester Luwin dies).  There was...ok that is the only one I can think of.  Well, Wargames, I guess.  Anyway.  Now we have another.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is the film that brings class and historical accuracy to the movies.  (Ned Stark dies)  Not only was this an honest, uplifting, honorable portrayal of one of our nations most well known presidents, but its historical accuracy rivals even the history channel.  There wasn't a single scene with an incongruous detail, or a single moment that spat in the face of physics.

But Abraham's triumph is not just for (Yoren dies) historical accuracy;  the entire movie is a masterpiece of well thought our plot, believable characters, meaningful character development and well timed action scenes that are completel congruous with the rest of the work.

Sometimes we forget about history, about where we (Renly Baratheon dies) come from.  It was nice to be reminded of the past, and I think I learned a few interesting details along the way.

Seriously, if you like shitty products like Gay of Throne*, and don't like Abraham Linlcon Vampire Hunter, you fail as a human being.


*I just realized I should probably refer to is as "Gay of Throne" to avoid contributing to its popularity via google keywords

**Side note:  while doing research for this article, I got bored reading through the plot lines of the Gay of Throne story, and I don't even recognize these other characters, so Just check this out:

A Game of Thrones - 54

Ser Waymar Royce
Will
Gared
Jon Arryn
Lady
Mycah
Ser Hugh
Jyck
Kurleket
Mohor
Morrec
Chiggen
Lharys
Wyl
Heward
Jory Cassel
Wallen
Hali
Stiv
Tregar
Ser Vardis Egen
Viserys Targaryen
Robert Baratheon
Fat Tom
Varly
Cayn
Hullen
Desmond
Othor
Jafer Flowers
Lord Vance
Ser Raymun Darry
Masha Heddle
Ser Jaremy Rykker
Khal Ogo
Khal Fogo
Ulf son of Umar
Conn son of Coratt
Torrhen Karstark
Eddard Karstark
Daryn Hornwood
Quaro
Qotho
Haggo
Cohollo
Eddard Stark
Septa Mordane
Veyon Poole
Rhaego
Eroeh
Khal Drogo
Andros Brax
Mirri Maz Duur


A Clash of Kings - 72

Maester Cressen
Praed
Beric Dondarrion
Ser Burton Crakehall
Hendry Bracken
Lyman Darry
Allar Deem
Ser Hubard Rambton
Doreah
Woth
Dobber
Qyle
Gerren
Koss
Yoren
Kurz
Lommy Greenhands
All-for-Joffrey
Medger Cerwyn
Chiswyck
Stafford Lannister
Rupert Brax
Roland Crakehall
Antario Jast
Lymond Vikary
Renly Baratheon
Stevron Frey
Reek
Donella Hornwood
Emmon Cuy
Robar Royce
Todric
Benfred Tallhart
Weese
Poul Pemford
Myles
Aron Santagar
High Septon
Ser Preston Greenfield
Alfyn Crowkiller
Ser Cortnay Penrose
Leo Lefford
Alebelly
Mikken
Ser Amory Lorch
Septon Chayle
Drennan
Squint
Gelmarr the Grim
Aggar
Gynir Rednose
Farlen
Ser Mandon Moore
Ser Guyard Morrigen
Maester Tothmure
Lucan
Goodwife Harra
Bryce Caron
Ser Bryan Fossoway
Ser Edwyd Fossoway
Ser Rodrik Cassel
Leobald Tallhart
Cley Cerwyn
Red Rolfe
Kenned
Black Lorren
Ulf
Squire Dalbridge
Ebben
Qhorin Halfhand
Poxy Tym
Maester Luwin


A Storm of Swords - 97

Iggo
Ser Jacelyn Bywater
Guncer Sunglass
Dale Seaworth
Allard Seaworth
Matthos Seaworth
Maric Seaworth
Jate Blackberry
Lord Chyttering
Hookface Will
Hal the Hog
Gladden Wylde
Lothar Mallery
Maslyn
Ser Ottyn Wythers
Thoren Smallwood
Small Paul
Ser Helman Tallhart
Tion Frey
Willem Lannister
Delp
Elwood
Rickard Karstark
Cleos Frey
Ser Imry Florent
Monford Velaryon
Kraznys Mo Nakloz
Grazdan Mo Ullhor
Jarl
Symon Silvertongue
Brown Bernarr
Hake
Bannen
Craster
Garth of Oldtown
Rolley of Sisterton
Ser Byam Flint
Jeor Mormont
Alyn
Hoster Tully
Kyle
Septon Utt
Bodger
Sallor the Bald
Prendahl Na Ghezn
Balon Greyjoy
Lord Botley
Lark the Sisterman
Softfoot
Ryles
Chett
Robin Flint
Ser Wendel Manderly
Lucas Blackwood
Donnel Locke
Owen Norrey
Dacey Mormont
Smalljon Umber
Robb Stark
Aegon Frey
Catelyn Stark
Grey Wind
Deaf Dick Follard
Rast
Young Henly
Old Henly
Easy
Dornish Dilly
Styr
Quort
Stone Thumbs
Ygritte
Oznak Zo Pahl
Mero
Joffrey Baratheon
Ser Dontos Hollard
Vargo Hoat
Donal Noye
Mag the Mighty
Red Alyn of the Rosewood
Ser Endrew Tarth
Ser Aladale Wynch
Oberyn Martell
Harma Dogshead
Polliver
The Tickler
Watt of Long Lake
Dalla
Shae
Tywin Lannister
Eon Hunter
Lysa Arryn
Petyr Frey
Ser Garse Goodbrook
Ser Tytos Frey
Merrett Frey




ALL THOSE PEOPLE DIE