How to Avoid Friends and be Influenced by People

Went on an out-of-town skiing strip recently.  The point of the trip was a complete failure but I did do a lot of skiing.

I am sick.

Dan gave me an allegedly awesome recipe for pork chops.  Turns out I don't own  13x9 glass pan.  Aaaaannd I just ordered one.  Fuck I love Amazon.

Might switch teams at work.  If I do, I will get to play with one awesome concept that I'm sort of addicted to, and another awesome thing that I haven't bothered with much.

Changing my lifestyle in order to make the gym a part of it and start weightlifting has proven more difficult than expected.  I hate looking like gumby, but I also hate sacrificing my time, even though I waste far, far too much of it on video games.

Possible whistler trip next year.  I and my core group of friends back home are currently trying to agree on a simple file-sharing solution that won't cost much time or money.  Gonna see how that pans out before I try something difficult like convincing people to spend a lot of time and money flying across the country to go skiing in Canada.

I have come to the realization that not only do I need to stop being an asshole to everyone, but that I need to be more friendly.  Way more friendly.  This girl that I was talking to at a party too much because I didn't feel like talking to the other girl there (because she is like the fucking queen of mixed signals) was giving me some lecture on something about having a conversation with my dental hygienist.  I normally am unable to talk to people while they are poking my teeth with tiny little knives, but I gave it a try and asked my hygienist how her Christmas and New Years vacations when she wasn't making my underbrushed gums bleed.


A girl on PlentyOfFish indicated that she was interested in meeting me, but her profile has a nasty thing about hating people who own "rice burners."  Bitch.

I'm going to start brushing more.

Seriously though, I have to become a friendly person.  It is my understanding that this will require me to stop completely ignoring other men.  You, dear reader, probably haven't noticed because we are already friends, but if I didn't know you, I probably wouldn't even be aware of your existence, even if some part of my consciousness could sense that you were trying to make eye contact on the fucking elevator.  I filter all males out because I have more guy friends than anyone, anywhere, will ever need.  But lets pretend thats not true.  Yay!  More friends!

I am still going to stare at the fucking TSA assholes.  By the way, the security theatre at terminal D of the philadelphia airport has no rape scanners (or didn't the last time I was there).

The PlentyOfFish girl who hates Japanese people responded to my email.  Apparently she prefers guys who have lifted fucking tires on their dumbass country trucks.  I am making a note here to constantly say nasty things about that demographic.

I have no idea how to be nice to people.  My entire life I have tried to emulate James Bond, Jason Bourne, Wolverine, and Dr. Gregory House.  Like, for real, those are my actual role models.  I try to be like them in everything I do.  So that probably explains a lot, I know.

I just...modified...my PlentyOfFish profile.  The new version reads a bit too passive aggressively but it is too awesome to remove.  Damn that was passive aggressive...in order to be not passive aggressive I should have told her to die in a fire.

I could start pretending I'm interested in how my coworker's weekends went.

My attempt to lash out at this bitch on PlentyOfFish and make her feel guilty and stupid and in violation of political correctness has failed.  Accusing her of being a bigot that hates all Japanese people did not work, and now she said something about me being sensitive.  Shit, people.  Shit.  That is the complete opposite of the effect I wanted.  I was hoping she would cry herself to sleep and then buy a Subaru.

I am not great at digitally sparing with people in real time--can't use my voice inflection to convey sarcasm.  I got a buddy that hangs out on 4chan.  I think I will ask him for advice on how to talk to people politely.

I'll just have to somehow make it through this dry spell and somehow force myself to be nice and make new friends.  What did I say?  Something about asking about my coworker's weekends...awww I don't feel like doing that.