Drinking on the Job

A design discussion is a meeting where important but contentious topics are discussed, which usually pertain to the design of our software, or the methodology we use to accomplish things.

My team is too large.  I know this, because many design discussions are whirlwinds of arguments, where one person can barely finish a thought before they are interrupted.  The sad part is they are frequently interrupted by someone who shares their viewpoint but thinks they can articulate better to the morons with the opposite viewpoint.  When it gets heated enough, it resembles an episode of Crossfire, although the only episode I've actually watched is the one with Jon Stewart.  I have nothing but disrespect for crossfire.

So.

I invented a new drinking game, where you take a drink every time someone gets interrupted during the design discussion.  Today, I finally remembered to bring in a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey and brought it to the design discussion.  On the way, before drinking any of it, I nearly tripped and broke the entire bottle.

Unfortunately for me and my new game, half of the most argumentative people were missing.  In addition, the person leading todays discussion had some kind of wierd new process he wanted to follow.  He thought we should break up the discussion into a "brainstorming" section and then ...and then a second section.  I don't know what it was; we never got to it.  The brainstorming section consisted of going over this chart he made, which he referred to using acronyms he made up on the spot, and also assigning "levels" to various...things, as if they were monsters in a role playing game.  "Ah, yes, interpreting the integration test results, thats a level 4."   I am not kidding. 

The meat of the discussion involved bascially saying things and then being asked to write them down on a little post it notes.  Instead of drinking every time someone got interrupted, I instead spent the entire meeting trying to avoid getting caught saying an idea that I would be asked to write on a post it note, and just sipping my Jack and Cherry Coke out of uncategorized frustration.