Don't Page Me Baby

When your testing goes awry
and the data is a fry
and you don't know what to try
but your project's on the line
don't page me

when your service throws a fit
from the data I transmit
and its all up in a twist
don't be a little bitch
don't page me


and when you look like a fool
because you don't know what to do
and you manager is blue
and he asks for my help too
don't page me

when your services go down
from all the traffic thats in town
and it FATALS all around
because we took you to town

...and made you look like a clown

...and now you have a frown

...don't page me

when you wake up at night
and you're all up in a fright
cause your pager is a light
and you think that I just might--
no don't page me

and when I spent all night tracking down the source of a mysterious surge of traffic that turns out to be the result of an operating system migration which caused a KNOWN bug in some software that we depend on but can't fix to resend a bunch of messages from a year ago to ourselves which trips a whole mess of alarms and makes a bunch of systems choke and my manager says we have to manually clean up the data in the databases right now instead of waiting until morning and YOU for some reason wake up at 5:30 in the fucking morning with a question that doesn't actually need to be answered while I am finally one and a half hours into a fantastic REM sleep where I am a Jedi that can only move paperclips and you want to file a ticket on my team to ask a question...
DON'T
PAGE
ME